The death of a loved one or breaking up with a partner are situations that merit emotional closure. Not managing grief well can lead us to stagnate and face more problems.
Whether the relationship with our partner is broken, or if a loved one dies, it is necessary that we take time to heal the wounds. For this, managing the grief well is key.
Grief is an emotional adjustment process that happens after a loss.
It is facing the fact that we will never see that person again, and accepting this involves a process.
Knowing how to manage it properly will make us go through the duel successfully or, on the contrary, we will stagnate.
Today we will discover how to manage grief well so that the latter does not happen.
The stages of grief
To manage grief well, we have to take into account the stages that we must go through.
It is not worth skipping one of them or staying in one for fear of the next.
If we want to overcome the situation that we have to live, we must open and close each stage until we reach the end.
- The negation. We refuse to accept the death of a loved one or the breakup with a partner. In this way, we avoid accepting the painful reality.
- The wrath. Reality ends up weighing more and lashes us with all its violence, causing us to get angry about the situation and to look for culprits to take responsibility for it.
- Hope. In spite of everything, we harbor a slight hope of seeing that person again (in heaven) or of rejoining the broken ties (giving a second chance to the couple relationship).
- Sadness. However, reality knocks on our door again. And that’s when we realize that, ultimately, there is no hope, which plunges us into deep sadness.
- Acceptance. Once we have cried and released all our sadness, we embrace reality and accept what has happened, allowing us to move on.
All these stages have their meaning, as we have well noticed.
However, if we hold on to one of them and stop the next one from flowing naturally, we will most likely face more problems.
Fear and insecurity are our worst enemies
Fear and insecurity are the two emotions that can boycott our grieving process.
And it is that the desire to control the situation and not to lose everything built so far can lead us to spend too long in the anger phase, for example.
The fact of trying to find culprits, of seeing only the bad things of the situation can cause us to feel victims of the circumstances and that we do not know how to continue or overcome what has happened.
In the same way, maintaining hope without reasons for fear of being alone, can end up causing us not to live our life and that we are always waiting.
We also have to be very careful with sadness, that stage in which we have to give ourselves permission to cry and express what we feel.
If we don’t, depression may knock on our door.
Managing grief well begins with managing emotions
No one has taught us to manage our emotions . For this reason, we do not express what we feel, which leads us to “explode” when it is least convenient.
We also don’t cry when we need to, causing us to one day be diagnosed with depression.
It is necessary that we begin to listen to our emotions, especially in a period of mourning. But above all, it is important that we know ourselves.
Grief is a painful process, but well managed it can be quite a self-discovery.
Knowing how to question our fears, face our insecurities and be aware of our attempts to avoid pain can be extremely enriching.
In this way, you will know when it is time to move on to the next stage.
Sooner or later the next stage will come, but yours will be the decision to stay long or short in the previous stage.
You can be sad for a few months or plunge into a depression that lasts for years because you have not been able to manage your grief well and with it, your emotions and even your well-being.
It’s up to you
Open your eyes, be self-critical, and ask yourself a lot of questions.
Seek the help of a professional who can guide you through this process. Very surely, it will be of great support.
“ The duel does not change you, it reveals you . ” —John Green—