If you can’t solve it by turning the page, it may be best to change the book. Now … how can you do it? Where can you get the courage to take the step and make that big change? Here we will give you some keys.
There are moments in life when it is not enough to make small changes, such as ‘take things slower’ or simply wait for something else (outside of us) to change.
The value of being responsible for ourselves also implies being able to prioritize ourselves and understand that it is better to take new directions, rather than follow paths that lead us to exactly the same place.
If you don’t solve it by taking a step, dare to fly
Sometimes, we say to ourselves that “the known bad is better than the good to be known”, that routine and everyday life offer us more security than the unknown, always so uncertain and so fearful.
Why do changes scare us so much? In reality, the fear of variation is a defense mechanism, a very primitive instinct that we have to face, for our own well-being.
We need habits but we grow with new stimuli
The changes are associated with fear and, therefore, with danger. In our past as humanity, a change meant entering unknown lands, where many dangers could be found. That is why the fear of change is a deeply ingrained instinct within us.
With evolution, humans have learned that changes offer new opportunities, benefits, and growth. Hence, to this day we still have that complex duality where it is a bit difficult for us to get out of our comfort zone.
However, changes can bring benefits, such as:
- We feel more responsible for our lives and we stop being dependent on other people, and even on situations that previously brought us unhappiness.
- Novelty and freshness. Everything is new to us. A change means exploring new opportunities, which we will choose according to our wishes.
Dare to fly, dare to feel the emptiness of change as a form of freedom
We have all felt trapped at some point in our lives. Whether due to work, family or personal issues, we perceive that we no longer have control over our decisions.
Dependence is a source of suffering that we have to learn to control. Relying on others to make decisions means we stop being directors of our own lives and become mere puppets.
In these situations, small changes are not much use. It is not enough to run away one day, to present an excuse not to go home, not to do that task that we dislike so much.
To give voice to our pain, to express in words what we do not want, is to act with assertiveness and freedom. What happens next can be a revelation that will help us make one decision or another.
Keys to make the big change
Sometimes it is not so easy to drop everything and start over. Each of our responsibilities will force us to seek more adaptive options in which the level of suffering or impact is lower.
If a word, comment, or warning doesn’t fix it, maybe it’s time to make the big change. But first, it is necessary to advise of your needs, of your desires. It is something we must do with courage and confidence. If our environment does not react to the warning, then we will act.
For example, imagine the family reunions that are held every week always end badly. There are tensions, anger and bad faces.
To solve them, you suggest that the meetings be held when you really want to, and not by obligation. Your parents take your comment badly and the meetings continue to end badly. In this situation, the big change would be to stop that custom and not go.
What others think about our decision does not have to affect us. Sometimes, it is necessary to look out for our emotional well-being. As long as we do not cause any harm and everything is done with respect, the big change can sometimes end up being the most beneficial for everyone.