I Also Had A Toxic And Harmful Relationship

I also had a toxic and harmful relationship that annulled me as a person and destroyed all the good that was in me. Note that it was such a poisonous situation that I came to believe that it was all my fault.

I often compare a toxic relationship with addiction to a drug. Even if you know that it is bad for you, that it is not positive for you, somehow, you end up justifying its consumption.

It would be hypocritical to say that you can easily get out of this. It is not like this. They are not days, not months … Sometimes, it takes years until you are able to open your eyes, forgive yourself and move on.

When that moment comes, you realize that it has not been as difficult as you thought. However, something in you forced you to stay in that unpleasant circumstance.

A toxic relationship annuls you completely

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We cannot reduce toxic relationships to a single type, as there are many different classes that exist.

Here are some examples:

  • Toxic dependency relationship: The person cannot live without their partner, so they are constantly looking for a partner. Without it, you feel empty and your life is meaningless.
  • Toxic relationship due to abuse: One of the members of the couple suffers physical abuse or psychological abuse by the other. The victim believes that everything is her fault.
  • Toxic relationship based on lies: Without trust, a couple cannot move on, unless one of the partners does not realize the lies (or does, but accepts them).
  • Toxic relationship based on idealization: Sooner or later the person we place at the top, falls. Then there are disappointments, disappointments and disappointments.
  • Toxic relationship based on absorption: Also called “energy thieves”, those people who approach you, absorb all the good you have and, when they finish, leave you.

    In all these types of toxic relationships, the victim is you. You break, you break, you crack inside until you are annulled. In this way, the other person can manipulate you.

    You stop knowing who you are, to start being what the other person wants. You have forgotten about yourself; You have even lost the respect you used to have for yourself. It’s time to get it back, don’t you think?

    You can get out of a toxic relationship

    As we have said, you can get out of a toxic relationship. The big problem is that this will not be a drastic and immediate change. You need your own time.

    You have lived under the yoke of the person you have loved for a long time. A dynamic of life that has been very well impregnated in you. Getting out of it is difficult, but not impossible. You just need to be aware of a few things.

    To begin with, it is important to realize that you are in a toxic relationship. You are not comfortable, you see with your own eyes how your partner lies to you, manipulates you or that you depend on them …

    Once this great step is done, which is not as easy as it seems, it is time to become aware that this has to change. We do not know when it will happen because, although we put all our efforts, we fall again and again in the same thing.

    However, our subconscious has already assimilated that this situation will not be forever. Someday, not too far away, his end will come.

    But this is not everything. You need to build a path with your attitudes,  and not accepting what you have approved so far. So get to work!

    The road to hope

    It said at the beginning that I had a toxic and harmful relationship. However, like me, so have many other people.

    A dependency-based relationship that put all my happiness, joy, and motivation in the hands of another individual.

    The bond with my partner became a vicious cycle full of negativity. There was no possible way out, although I glimpsed a small, dim glimmer of hope every now and then. I spent a long time under the yoke of anxiety, desperate to accomplish what, from a safe distance, I saw true and clear.

    Time was the best of my allies. The day least expected, everything was over. I got out of bed with a new, renewed air. The ordeal in which I immersed myself has come to an end.

    Don’t be afraid of being in a toxic relationship. Just as we make mistakes, we can fall into harmful links in which we are unwittingly implicated.

    Be aware of what is happening and try to learn from it. Don’t be in a hurry, all teaching requires your own time. In the end, you will open your eyes and be able to start over.

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